Thank you all for bearing with me in my last post. i tend to get on my soap box often and for long periods of time, but it is a topic I feel very strongly about. So much of my life has been dominated by the subject; in many ways it is sad that the most important years, my adolescence, was occupied doing nothing but fretting over weight. I regret that deeply sometimes because of the strain it has put on myself and my loved ones. BUT i try to see a silver lining. If I can take that experience and turn it into something good, something educational, then nothing was wasted and nothing was in vain.

My goal in life is to somehow make a difference in someone's life and accomplish something greater than myself. I have always envied in a way previous generations and the youth of other countries who still have a struggle to fight; they have a purpose and a unified cause for banding together, protesting, and motivating change. I feel we lack that in our society, and i feel I lack that especially in my life. I hate complacency. Although I will probably never be protesting in Iran or freeing child soldiers in Uganada, I do have goals for myself, albeit on a smaller scale.

I want to become a neuropsychologist specializing in the field of eating disorders. In my treatment, i was appalled by how little my doctors knew about the disorder, and how many of them relied on outdated facts and superficial stereotypes. Very few people saw it as a psychological illness, but as a petty self-inflicted "phase" that i would grow out of. I found the same stigma when it came not just to eating disorders, but depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and a host of other conditions. Since they are not tangible, people assume they are less important. I feel it is exacerbated for women, as there is an assumption that all women share this predetermined facte to be doomed and dramatic, and that we are all born mimicing Ophelia. I really want to stomp out that biased and untrue idea. I want to work with the brain and with patients to expose the parallels between eating disorders and biology. If people can be confronted with evidence that these disorders have a neurological component and that they are NOT always under the control of the sufferer, maybe then they would get more respect. maybe then the attitudes people have can change and people no longer have to feel ashamed or defecient because of what they are going through. One day!

Anywho, my Soap Box rant is over. I enjoy going off on these tangents sometimes, so forgive me if it is an utter bore to you ^_^ thank you all once again, and if you have any questions leave my a comment and i can do my very best to answer it for you.

I will get back on topic soon enough, though!

So I have a wee bit of an unusual fascination with the Victorian era, namely the clothing the children wore. I think my parents must ahve sat me down to watch far too many period pieces of PBS, but I have a definite obsession with the era now. I like dressing in a way that reminds me somewhat of that time with the stripes and the short children's cuts and the androgynous sillhuettes. Not to mention I like ripping my clothes up, too so I feel like a little chimney sweep. All I'm missing is a Bowler's hat!

I love the cool sophistication of the French New Wave, and how they expressed it with such ease. Never before had i seen stripes, jeans, a tee shirt, and an absence of hair look so good until Jean Seberg.

I like cheesy colorful vintage, images that look like they just popped right out of an infomercial from the 1950's. Sometimes there just comes a time when you feel the insatiable need to liven up the color pallette.